51. Somatic Practice for Sleep: Why Your Body Won't Let You Rest

Written By Brittany Broderick

You have answered the emails. You have gotten everyone to bed. You have brushed your teeth and climbed under the covers. Your body is exhausted, and somehow you are still awake.

Maybe your mind is replaying the day. Maybe you are already in tomorrow. Maybe you do not even feel anxious, you just feel awake, like your body missed the memo that it is bedtime.

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It isn't that you are bad at relaxing

Your nervous system has one primary job, which is to keep you alive. One of the ways it does that is by paying attention to whether the environment feels safe enough to let go, or what we call yield.

When you look at it that way, sleep is one of the most vulnerable things we do. When we sleep, we surrender our awareness. We surrender control. We stop monitoring the world around us. Before your body allows that, it wants to know the day is complete, that there is nothing left that needs to be responded to.

Modern life rarely gives the nervous system that feeling. The emails do not end. The notifications keep coming. There is always one more thing to think about, one more decision, one more conversation to replay. So your body stays just alert enough, just activated enough, to stay prepared. It is not doing this to keep you awake. It is doing it to keep you safe.

The nervous system does not respond to pressure

When we do not understand this, we tend to fight our bodies. We try to force relaxation. We try to quiet the mind. But the nervous system does not respond to pressure. It responds to safety.

Which means rest is not something we force. It is something we allow.

The brain hold

Think about what happens when you are overwhelmed or stressed or emotionally exhausted. Where do your hands go? Most of us instinctively hold our own head. We lean into our own touch because it creates a sense of support, a sense of what we call containment, or the feeling that we are no longer carrying everything alone.

There is something happening physiologically here too. Your hand on your forehead supports the front of the brain, where so much of the planning and problem solving and mental activity happens. The hand at the back of the head rests near structures involved in regulation and survival. This simple hold can begin reminding the nervous system that it does not have to stay on high alert.

Orienting to your room

After the hold, let your eyes softly open and begin taking in the room around you. Slowly. Without searching for anything. Let your eyes land on the ceiling, a lamp, the blankets, a picture on the wall.

This is orienting, and it helps your nervous system recognize where you are. Not in tomorrow. Not back in today's conversations. Here, in this room, in this moment.

Then find three things that feel neutral or even comforting, and let your eyes rest on each for a few moments. Notice what happens inside. Often nothing dramatic. Maybe your shoulders soften by two percent. Maybe your breath slows slightly. Whatever you notice is enough.

Of course this is here

Then bring your attention back inside and notice where your body is still holding the day. The jaw. The shoulders. The chest. The stomach. A feeling of buzzing or tightness or restlessness.

Instead of asking it to go away, try acknowledging it. You might even say to yourself, of course this is here. Of course my body is still holding today. Of course a part of me is trying to stay alert.

Your body is not trying to make your life difficult. It is trying to make sure you do not miss something important. It is trying to protect you. Sometimes the most regulating thing we can do is stop treating our activation like an enemy, and simply let that part of us know: I see you. You do not have to hold all of this by yourself.

Five ways to help your body downshift at night

  1. Create a transition. Give yourself even five minutes between the demands of the day and getting into bed. Your body needs a bridge into rest, not an abrupt stop.

  2. Use the brain hold. One hand on your forehead, one at the base of the skull. Let your nervous system feel supported before you ask it to rest.

  3. Orient to your room. Take a slow look around your space so your body registers an environment that is different from the demands of the day.

  4. Feel the support beneath you. Instead of trying to stop thinking, notice that the mattress is holding your body. Let your attention move toward that support and that yielding, especially in your back and legs.

  5. Remind your body that today is over. You can simply say, nothing else is being asked of me right now. Sometimes those few words are enough to help the nervous system begin letting go.

A gentle reminder

Rest is not something your body forgets how to do. Sometimes it just needs help remembering that it is finally safe enough to do it.

If this work resonates, this is exactly what we go deeper into inside the Body-First Healing Program. Every Monday we hold our Somatic Resource and Reset call, a 30 minute practice space where we do not just understand the nervous system, we learn how to work with it in real time.

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Brittany Broderick
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