26. Healing Self-Abandonment in Relationships & Learning to Trust Yourself Again

Written By Brittany Broderick

Have you ever walked away from a conversation realizing you didn’t say what you meant or didn’t ask for what you needed? Maybe you agreed to something that didn’t feel right in your body. And later you wondered why this keeps happening even when you are so aware of it.

From a nervous system perspective, self-abandonment in relationships is not a conscious choice or a personal shortcoming. It is a protective response shaped by how your body learned to stay safe in connection.

In this podcast episode, I explore how self-abandonment forms through the nervous system and attachment wiring. Your brain is constantly predicting what will keep you connected or at risk of rupture, especially in close relationships. If early experiences taught your system that closeness required appeasing, minimizing your needs, or staying agreeable, your body learned to default to those responses automatically, often before thought or language come online.

This is why insight alone does not change the pattern. These responses are driven by the body, not a lack of boundaries or self-awareness. Change happens when the nervous system has repeated experiences of safety while you stay present with your sensations, emotions, and impulses. Over time, the body learns that it is possible to stay connected without leaving yourself.

This episode is an invitation to meet these patterns with compassion rather than self-criticism. You are not broken, and you are not behind. Healing unfolds at the pace your nervous system can learn safety, and that pace is already moving you forward.

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Brittany Broderick
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