60. Somatic Practice: Holding Grief & Joy at the Same Time

Written By Brittany Broderick

Sometimes the moment you start to enjoy yourself is the moment you remember what hurts. You're laughing with a friend, or feeling the sun through the window, or watching your kids do something ridiculous. And then there's that little catch inside. For a moment, life felt good, and now you're wondering whether you're allowed to feel that while something else is still so painful.

This week's somatic practice is about making a little room for both. My hope is that by the end, you've had a moment of contact with something supportive or pleasant without needing your grief to disappear first.

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Why feeling good can bring up guilt

When something matters to us, feeling the pain of losing it can become closely tied to how we honor it. So a moment of relief can bring an unexpected question. "If I'm enjoying this, what does that say about how much I cared?" Or, "If I'm looking forward to something, am I moving on too quickly?"

You don't have to answer those questions through the intensity of your suffering. What mattered to you can keep mattering during an afternoon when you're laughing. You can miss someone while enjoying a really good meal with a friend. You can grieve a future you imagined and still be curious about the weekend.

A moment of ease doesn't erase what mattered.

What this practice is (and isn't)

Something good can be very small here. The comfort of a cushion. An interesting color. A sound you don't mind hearing. And if pleasant feels too far away right now, we start with something neutral. You don't have to produce gratitude or happiness to take part.

We also won't be bringing up a painful memory or moving through the whole story of your grief. You can do this entire practice with your eyes open and your attention on the room around you. There's no requirement to turn inward, cry, relax, or feel a particular way. Skip any invitation, change position, or stop whenever you want.

Orienting, then one small detail

We begin by letting your eyes move around the room at a comfortable pace. Where does the light come in? Is there a doorway, a familiar piece of furniture, a color you like? We don't have to feel safe on command. We're just noticing what's actually here.

From there, you'll choose one thing in your immediate experience that feels neutral, supportive, or a little pleasant, and spend a few moments with it. The noticing can be very plain. "There's some pressure here, and I prefer having the support" is enough.

Letting grief and support share space

If sadness is already present and it feels manageable, you might quietly acknowledge that something has been hard, without picturing what happened or searching for where it lives in your body. Then you return to the detail you chose and notice that it's still available too.

We aren't trying to hold two feelings in perfect balance. We're giving your attention some freedom to move. And if things start to feel too intense or far away, you can look toward a familiar object, name it, press your feet into the floor, or stop the episode. Choosing less is a valid way to care for yourself.

A sentence to try

"I can care about what I've lost and receive this small moment of support."

You don't need to repeat it or believe it completely. If it feels too far away, let it pass and come back to the room. You don't have to finish grieving to receive something good.

A gentle reminder

What I hope you carry with you is some permission to receive the moments that do find you. A laugh that shows up unexpectedly. The taste of something you love. An hour with someone whose company feels good. We don't have to make those moments bigger than they are, and we don't have to push them away to prove our grief is real.

If you'd like ongoing support with practices like this, you can join Britt in the Body-First Healing Program.

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This blog and podcast are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical care, therapy, or crisis support. Please reach out to a qualified professional for support with your specific situation.

Brittany Broderick
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