You know which exercise to do when your chest tightens. You know which state you think you're in and which practice is supposed to bring you back. And somewhere along the way, being human started to feel like a condition you're constantly treating.
In this solo episode, Britt Piper, Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, revisits her viral post on the nervous system advice she refuses to teach, and gives each idea the longer conversation it needs.
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Regulation is flexibility
Regulation means responding to what's happening, drawing on support when you need it, and recovering once the demand has passed. Calm is one possible experience inside that flexibility. It isn't the standard every moment has to meet.
Think of driving a car. You need an accelerator, brakes, and steering. Keeping your foot on the brake all day doesn't make you a good driver, and neither does speeding through every warning sign. The skill is having options and adjusting to the road you're on.
Calm isn't proof of healing
From the outside, two people can look the same. One is quiet because they feel comfortable. The other is quiet because disagreeing has always carried a cost, so they've learned to disappear.
As people heal, they sometimes become less agreeable. They notice anger, preferences, and things they used to swallow. That isn't automatically a setback. Often it's capacity coming back online.
And if you love quiet, enjoy it. A peaceful afternoon doesn't need to be investigated for hidden shutdown.
Noticing your body vs. putting it under surveillance
Interoception, your sense of what's happening inside your body, can help you recognize needs you've learned to overlook. But there's a big difference between noticing your body and monitoring it constantly.
Picture dinner with a friend. Your stomach tightens, and suddenly you're checking your breath, your pulse, your jaw, wondering if you're safe enough to stay at the table. Your friend is telling you a story, and you're only half there. If your body has felt frightening or unpredictable, of course you'd want that certainty. But being present doesn't require tracking every sensation. You can hear a song and enjoy it without locating the enjoyment in your chest first.
When discomfort doesn't mean it's working
Some advice says that if a practice is uncomfortable or cathartic, it must be working. If you want to stop, that proves you're resisting. That logic leaves no room for your experience or your choice.
Discomfort can come with meaningful learning. It can also come with something poorly timed or too much. Without agency, exposure can teach endurance instead of safety. Sometimes the most meaningful new experience is saying, "I don't want to do that exercise," and having it respected.
What the big release can't show us
A camera can capture someone crying or shaking. It can't show what changed in their nervous system patterns over time. Healing often happens quietly, through repeated experiences: asking for help, noticing a limit sooner, resting after a hard day. If your experience has been subtle, you don't need to intensify it to make it count.
You can't regulate your way out of an overloaded life
A practice can help you get through the afternoon. But some needs aren't internal. A realistic workload, help with childcare, medical care, or a relationship where your boundaries are taken seriously can't all be solved with another breathing exercise. Your capacity is not measured by how much of yourself you can override.
A gentle reminder
You can learn about your nervous system without making it your full-time job. Let the work support the conversations you want to have, the relationships you want to show up for, and the life you want to be available for.
If you'd like support doing this work with guidance and community, you can join Britt in the Body-First Healing Program.
Connect with Britt:
Instagram: @healwithbritt
TikTok: @healwithbritt
YouTube: Brittany Piper
Body-First Healing Resources:
Join the Program: bodyfirsthealing.com/program
Somatic Practitioner Training: bodyfirsthealing.com/somatic-certificate
Read the Book: bodyfirsthealing.com/the-book
Take the Free Mini Course: myhealinghub.com/minicourseoptin
Website: bodyfirsthealing.com
This blog and podcast are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical care, therapy, or crisis support. Please reach out to a qualified professional for support with your specific situation.